How Humans Confuse Huff


Huff wonders why is it so hard for humans to ask for what they want - for a hug, a snuggle, a snack.  He has to guess when his human needs these things so he has decided to guess that she always needs them.

I wonder

Why do humans struggle so much with asking?  They want something, but are afraid to ask. Mostly is it big humans that do this. Little humans have no problem asking. I wonder what changes when they grow up.

My human is not good at asking. I know she feels bad when she needs to ask for help. How silly! She helps other people, but hesitates to ask for help back. Silly human.

But I know this about her, so even though she doesn’t ask, I snuggle with her as much as possible. If she goes in the kitchen, I suggest we get a snack. I stay close to her because I know she needs me.

I guess that’s why humans need dogs. They don’t have to ask. We are always close by.

Huff asks

I always ask for what I want. How else will she know? 

If the ice cubes have vanished from my  water bowl, I ask for ice. 

If the water is low on my favorite side of the double bowl, I ask her to refill it.

Asking is easy!

I get her attention, usually by staring at her until she feels uncomfortable. Then I walk to the dish and stick my nose it.

I look up at her. Look back at the dish.

Now that she finally has something to do, she gets up. She is grateful I am sure. Otherwise she would sit there with nothing to do but read a book or talk on the phone. I save her from that.

Waiter, my order is wrong!

The other morning, I had to send back my eggs because they were not right.

She knows how to do it right. But she was not paying attention, I think. The right way to make my eggs is to scrambled them and cook them in the microwave. Then cut them into small pieces for me. Add in some yogurt. Plain only. No yucky sugar or flavors. The yogurt cools them down enough for me to eat them.  Sometimes put them in the fridge for a few minutes. Then they are perfect.

The other day she put them in the fridge, but she didn’t put yogurt on them. She tested them and  said they were cool enough. They were cool enough, but uh- no flavor!  That was intolerable.

I sniffed at it  and walked away from the bowl.

I lay back down in my usual spot while she cooks and gave her my best “I am so disappointed” look.  I huffed my head down on my paws.

She figured it out: I told you she was smart!

She added some yogurt and stirred it up. Then put the bowl back down.

This time it was perfect and I gobbled it down. I ate it all and licked the bowl cleaned.

Good human.

Sometimes, compromise

One of the worst things she did happened when she rearranged the house.

For some reason she has multiple pairs of shoes that she keeps by the door. I know which ones mean we are going for a walk and which ones mean she is going out without me.  But when she got a new table, instead of leaving the shoes where they were - which was by the table, she moved them to the other side of the door. By my food dishes! Ugh - smelly shoes by my water bowl - really?  Human shoes can go by the human table.

I had to ask her to move them. I tried giving the shoes and my bowl meaningful looks, but she didn’t understand. So the next time she filled my water bowl - with lots of ice the way I like it - I didn’t walk directly to it.  

I walked across the shoes.  I made it a point to trip over the shoes. I looked directly at her so she could see what a problem this was. I tried drinking out of the bowl while standing over the shoes. I tripped again. At last she understood!

“Are those shoes are a problem?” she asked.

Of course they are a problem but I am dog and my ability to convey sarcasm is limited. Not completely absent, but limited.

So I let her work it out. And she surprised me. Usually she is pretty compliant. But not this time. Instead of moving the shoes, she moved my bowl so it was farther away from the shoes and said “That will have to do.”

A compromise.

Well I guess that’s the way it goes, you can ask, but sometimes the answer is no.